Book: 2017 | Chapter: 2 | Page: 3
"God never gives you a dream that matches your budget. He's not checking your bank account, he's checking your faith."
If that isn't the truth then I have no idea what is... LORD only knows how bad I want something yet and SO limited with what I have.
But really am I?
I've spent a lot of time the past few days just thinking about where I want to be this year and where I thought I would be and where I started and wanted at the time. All are VERY different. Our dream paths always change and most of the time I'd like to think that the end result is the same we just don't get there the way we plan.
This is a year of rebuilding, a year of learning, a year of searching and hopefully a year of advancement.
I get jealous over the people who just kind of pop in, are amazing and take over the world. But do they really? Do we always know where they are on their journey or do we just assume we do based on the what we know which is really nothing most of the time. It's a reminder that how we portray ourselves in how others perceive us and that is the most important thing to remember!
Just a thought for the day.
#FollowYourArrow
As Always,
Brenda
Friday, February 3, 2017
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Bummer dude!
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page: 12
That moment when you do your bill schedule and realize that the next paycheck (Tomorrow) you'll be caught up on your behind overhead debt. YAY!
THEN ... you remember nope you're behind on on your school loan debts by $1,611.54 Sigh.... THEN I get my $1,000 and THEN I can work on my debt snowball for all debts with no minimum payments... hold tight creditors I'm working on it!
That's all I got today.
Too bummed for more...
As Always,
Brenda
That moment when you do your bill schedule and realize that the next paycheck (Tomorrow) you'll be caught up on your behind overhead debt. YAY!
THEN ... you remember nope you're behind on on your school loan debts by $1,611.54 Sigh.... THEN I get my $1,000 and THEN I can work on my debt snowball for all debts with no minimum payments... hold tight creditors I'm working on it!
That's all I got today.
Too bummed for more...
As Always,
Brenda
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
My debt story beginning ....
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page: 10
How my journey started.
COLLEGE!
I was the first person in my immediate family to go to college (or well maybe graduate -- my mom may have done one year or some?) So going to a college was REALLY important to me even though I wasn't a very good student I did (and still do) love to learn. I didn't want to take a year off to discover what I wanted to do in life because I felt like I would never go back... at least that's what we were pressured in school to think. Besides, I had life ALL figured out. I knew what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be and who I was going to become.
Till I actually started doing it.
I picked a college in NC about 1000 miles or so away from home in which I knew NOONE. But I loved it. I loved the campus and the opportunities it provided. Till I actually got there.
I never knew I was such a home body till I was so far away and couldn't get there regularly and then when I did it wasn't the same.
I spent 2 years at this college for Early Childhood Education before I got scared, missed home, and yes -- gave up. I moved home after spending 2 years on out of state tutition ($$$) and no degree. When I came home I did one semester at the local State University for Health Care and decided that was too much work for me and then I finally settled at the local community college and ended up getting my degree there for Administrative Business Management. What kind of degree is this anyways? Whatever. I finish A degree in just over 4 years ... it was just a two year degree that left me with just over 30k in debt to pay back... YEAH I was the smart one -- If I could only go back to my 18 year old self now.
I spent the next 15 years or so just doing life, racking up credit card debt, buying things I didn't need to impress people I didn't even like and deferring my debt due to economic hardship. Sad part is ... I created that hardship on myself.
Fast forward to last summer.
I had been without insurance for the last 5 or 6 years and finally decided to just bite the bullet and figure out how to pay for insurance through my work because I wasn't gonna pay that obamacare and I thought it was ridiculous that I was getting charged for NOT going to into debt to have healthcare when I'm fairly healthy ... IT JUST DIDN'T MAKE SENSE.
SO I grumbled with paying the $150 a month or whatever it is through my work ... just to be covered... I'M FINE.
But guess what ... insurance is there for a reason ... for when you need it and you don't think you do.
THE CALL
I decided I'd go for that once a year "Woman" appointment ... you know the one that everyone dreads because why not I had insurance now -- couldn't hurt at least.
I expected the test to come back normal as it always had. I had no reason for it to come back different. BUT IT DID.
I had to go back for some "Routine" exams and test and small biopsy's because sometimes the test is a false positive. Awesome okay we will go with that then.... FALSE Positive.
Except the second round of tests didn't confirm the false positive instead it said something else.
CANCER.
I don't remember much that happened that moment or the conversation that happened my mind kind of went blank. I had no idea what Cervical Cancer was or what it could mean.
So of course I researched and researched and set myself into panic mode.
The next few weeks were a bit chaotic. Had to get my mom to schedule a trip here as i'm basically all alone, more testing, and scheduling of pre ops and surgeries.
MONEY.
I was expected to come up with close to $2k out of pocket prior to the surgery. That's when I realized among everything else I was dealing with that I couldn't deal with that too. I live paycheck to paycheck or like I usually say less then paycheck to less then paycheck.
I was lucky that my mom spotted me at least 500 of it that absolutely needed to be paid and the rest I was able to charge out. When all was said and done I've got about 4k that I need to pay back for my portion of the surgeries and that's after insurance has already covered over 10k.
I will take a moment to say that in December I had my last post surgery biopsy and at this time I show cancer free. YES.
Even Cancer free I am sad. I am emotional at everything and stressed out. I can't seem to enjoy life. That's when I remembered a course I had taken from Dave Ramsey .. you know the guy that is entire debt free and wealthy? I mean who lives like that ...
So I dug out my materials that I kept, you know for the day I became in debt (Which I was already I just didn't want to face it) and got to work.
NUMBERS.
When you put all the numbers on paper for EVERYTHING you owe it's scary like HELLA scary. I owe about 50k or more in debt ... on a 30k a year salary. WOAH. And that doesn't include all the money my parents have given me over and above the typical parent kind of stuff ... it was time at 35 to GET MY SH*T TOGETHER.
So that's what I'm doing ...
2017 is the year I get my sh*t together --- and I'm more determined then ever.
#FollowYourArrow
As Always,
Brenda
How my journey started.
COLLEGE!
I was the first person in my immediate family to go to college (or well maybe graduate -- my mom may have done one year or some?) So going to a college was REALLY important to me even though I wasn't a very good student I did (and still do) love to learn. I didn't want to take a year off to discover what I wanted to do in life because I felt like I would never go back... at least that's what we were pressured in school to think. Besides, I had life ALL figured out. I knew what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be and who I was going to become.
Till I actually started doing it.
I picked a college in NC about 1000 miles or so away from home in which I knew NOONE. But I loved it. I loved the campus and the opportunities it provided. Till I actually got there.
I never knew I was such a home body till I was so far away and couldn't get there regularly and then when I did it wasn't the same.
I spent 2 years at this college for Early Childhood Education before I got scared, missed home, and yes -- gave up. I moved home after spending 2 years on out of state tutition ($$$) and no degree. When I came home I did one semester at the local State University for Health Care and decided that was too much work for me and then I finally settled at the local community college and ended up getting my degree there for Administrative Business Management. What kind of degree is this anyways? Whatever. I finish A degree in just over 4 years ... it was just a two year degree that left me with just over 30k in debt to pay back... YEAH I was the smart one -- If I could only go back to my 18 year old self now.
I spent the next 15 years or so just doing life, racking up credit card debt, buying things I didn't need to impress people I didn't even like and deferring my debt due to economic hardship. Sad part is ... I created that hardship on myself.
Fast forward to last summer.
I had been without insurance for the last 5 or 6 years and finally decided to just bite the bullet and figure out how to pay for insurance through my work because I wasn't gonna pay that obamacare and I thought it was ridiculous that I was getting charged for NOT going to into debt to have healthcare when I'm fairly healthy ... IT JUST DIDN'T MAKE SENSE.
SO I grumbled with paying the $150 a month or whatever it is through my work ... just to be covered... I'M FINE.
But guess what ... insurance is there for a reason ... for when you need it and you don't think you do.
THE CALL
I decided I'd go for that once a year "Woman" appointment ... you know the one that everyone dreads because why not I had insurance now -- couldn't hurt at least.
I expected the test to come back normal as it always had. I had no reason for it to come back different. BUT IT DID.
I had to go back for some "Routine" exams and test and small biopsy's because sometimes the test is a false positive. Awesome okay we will go with that then.... FALSE Positive.
Except the second round of tests didn't confirm the false positive instead it said something else.
CANCER.
I don't remember much that happened that moment or the conversation that happened my mind kind of went blank. I had no idea what Cervical Cancer was or what it could mean.
So of course I researched and researched and set myself into panic mode.
The next few weeks were a bit chaotic. Had to get my mom to schedule a trip here as i'm basically all alone, more testing, and scheduling of pre ops and surgeries.
MONEY.
I was expected to come up with close to $2k out of pocket prior to the surgery. That's when I realized among everything else I was dealing with that I couldn't deal with that too. I live paycheck to paycheck or like I usually say less then paycheck to less then paycheck.
I was lucky that my mom spotted me at least 500 of it that absolutely needed to be paid and the rest I was able to charge out. When all was said and done I've got about 4k that I need to pay back for my portion of the surgeries and that's after insurance has already covered over 10k.
I will take a moment to say that in December I had my last post surgery biopsy and at this time I show cancer free. YES.
Even Cancer free I am sad. I am emotional at everything and stressed out. I can't seem to enjoy life. That's when I remembered a course I had taken from Dave Ramsey .. you know the guy that is entire debt free and wealthy? I mean who lives like that ...
So I dug out my materials that I kept, you know for the day I became in debt (Which I was already I just didn't want to face it) and got to work.
NUMBERS.
When you put all the numbers on paper for EVERYTHING you owe it's scary like HELLA scary. I owe about 50k or more in debt ... on a 30k a year salary. WOAH. And that doesn't include all the money my parents have given me over and above the typical parent kind of stuff ... it was time at 35 to GET MY SH*T TOGETHER.
So that's what I'm doing ...
2017 is the year I get my sh*t together --- and I'm more determined then ever.
#FollowYourArrow
As Always,
Brenda
Friday, January 6, 2017
Winning hearts
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page: 6
Winning hearts is what life is all about. At least for me.
If you think about it our lives are all about making ourselves (and our heart) happy or making those around us (and their hearts) happy.
We grow up seeking approval from a very early age when parents and their friends would clap and say yay every time we did something new, something fun and/or something amazing. So from that point we seek approval from everyone in our lives and sometimes we seek it from people we don't even know! How crazy is that when we stop and think about it. Kind of reminds me of the saying about spending money we don't have on things we don't need to impress people we don't even like .... or something similar to that.
What are the five ways to win your heart?
For me - it's as follows:
1 - Be HONEST. Seriously honesty is something that our children are not really learning or retaining I guess. Everyone lies at some point or another and yes sometimes they don't even mean to and sometimes they do it because they are afraid to hurt you worse then you are bound to be hurt down the road. But while we are on the subject ... WHO CARES? I'd rather be hurt now with the least amount of pain then down the road after I've been played for so long and based other decisions and/or feelings on inaccurate facts. So much of the problem with society these days is because of inaccurate information. Just rip the bandaid off as fast as possible so the healing can begin.
2 - Your PRESENTATION. You may not be the skinniest or have the most money to dress fancy but if you shower, brush your teeth and maintain yourself then that matters. If you take pride in yourself with what you have to work with that shows AND matters. I notice. People notice.
3 - Pay attention to DETAILS. The small details are truly the most important. Anyone can make big ones but if you pay attention to things that are said or done or witnessed and build on them it matters. Nothing is most amazing then being with someone and them doing something you mentioned in passing that you love or getting you something you saw together that you drooled over. Anyone can fly you to vegas for a weekend but not everyone will know why they do... think about that.
4 - Treat others with RESPECT. Respect for everyone! Whether you are black, white, young, old, skinny or fat. Everyone is a person and everyone has struggles and EVERY ONE has the same goal. Be a better person then your neighbor. Be a better person then you were yesterday. Be a better person then your dreams have shown.
5 - Being KIND. Kindness matters some times even when you don't know why you are being kind can be the difference between life or death for some people. Smile at everyone even if they don't smile back. Say hello and goodbye. Open doors and help whenever you can.
#FollowYourArrow
As Always,
Brenda
Winning hearts is what life is all about. At least for me.
If you think about it our lives are all about making ourselves (and our heart) happy or making those around us (and their hearts) happy.
We grow up seeking approval from a very early age when parents and their friends would clap and say yay every time we did something new, something fun and/or something amazing. So from that point we seek approval from everyone in our lives and sometimes we seek it from people we don't even know! How crazy is that when we stop and think about it. Kind of reminds me of the saying about spending money we don't have on things we don't need to impress people we don't even like .... or something similar to that.
What are the five ways to win your heart?
For me - it's as follows:
1 - Be HONEST. Seriously honesty is something that our children are not really learning or retaining I guess. Everyone lies at some point or another and yes sometimes they don't even mean to and sometimes they do it because they are afraid to hurt you worse then you are bound to be hurt down the road. But while we are on the subject ... WHO CARES? I'd rather be hurt now with the least amount of pain then down the road after I've been played for so long and based other decisions and/or feelings on inaccurate facts. So much of the problem with society these days is because of inaccurate information. Just rip the bandaid off as fast as possible so the healing can begin.
2 - Your PRESENTATION. You may not be the skinniest or have the most money to dress fancy but if you shower, brush your teeth and maintain yourself then that matters. If you take pride in yourself with what you have to work with that shows AND matters. I notice. People notice.
3 - Pay attention to DETAILS. The small details are truly the most important. Anyone can make big ones but if you pay attention to things that are said or done or witnessed and build on them it matters. Nothing is most amazing then being with someone and them doing something you mentioned in passing that you love or getting you something you saw together that you drooled over. Anyone can fly you to vegas for a weekend but not everyone will know why they do... think about that.
4 - Treat others with RESPECT. Respect for everyone! Whether you are black, white, young, old, skinny or fat. Everyone is a person and everyone has struggles and EVERY ONE has the same goal. Be a better person then your neighbor. Be a better person then you were yesterday. Be a better person then your dreams have shown.
5 - Being KIND. Kindness matters some times even when you don't know why you are being kind can be the difference between life or death for some people. Smile at everyone even if they don't smile back. Say hello and goodbye. Open doors and help whenever you can.
#FollowYourArrow
As Always,
Brenda
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Budgets are fun ...
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page: 5
... said NOONE ever! Well unless of course you are Dave Ramsey then you probably do! However, in a weird and twisted way it was kind of nice for my month to be wrapped up in a nice tidy bow ... now as long as I can keep it that way for the next 30 days it will be grand!
January 2017 Budget
Charity
Tithes
Charity & Offerings
Saving
Emergency Fund
Retirement Fund
Housing
$614.00 Rent
Utilities
$ 38.31 Electricity
$ 25.74 Gas
$ 23.37 Water
$ 12.00 Trash
$133.93 Phone
$ 75.23 Internet
$ 7.99 Cable
Food
$200.00 Groceries
$ 0.00 Restaurants
Clothing
$ 0.00 Adult
$ 0.00 Cleaning/Laundry
Transportation
$100.00 Gas & Oil
$ 0.00 Repairs & Tires
$ 0.00 License & Taxes
$ 0.00 Car Replacement
$ 10.00 Other (Car Wash)
Medical/Health
$ 0.00 Medications
$ 0.00 Doctor Bills
$ 0.00 Dentist
$ 0.00 Optometrist
$ 0.00 Vitamins
$ 0.00 Other __________
Insurance
$ 0.00 Rental Insurance
$100.10 Auto Insurance
Personal
$ 0.00 Gifts (Inc. Christmas)
$ 0.00 Replace Furniture
$ 0.00 Pocket Money
$ 10.00 Miscellaneous (Gym)
$ 20.00 Other (SmugMug 1)
$ 5.00 Other (SmugMug 2)
Recreation
$ 0.00 Entertainment
$ 0.00 Vacation
Debts
$376.04 Car Payment
$ 0.00 Credit Card - Capital One
$207.18 Credit Card - Chase
$ 0.00 FL #1
$ 0.00 FL #2
$ 0.00 FL #3
$ 0.00 FL #4
$ 0.00 FL #5
$ 0.00 FL #6
$ 0.00 FL #7
$ 0.00 FL #8
$ 0.00 FL #9
$ 0.00 FL #10
$ 0.00 FL #11
$ 0.00 TA #1
$ 0.00 TA #2
$ 0.00 TA #3
$ 0.00 TA #4
$ 0.00 CMS Main
$ 0.00 CMS Anestesia
$ 0.00 CMS Pathology
$ 0.00 SMCC
$ 0.00 TWC
$ 0.00 NorDx
$ 0.00 Craig Miller
I expect it to change slightly as my months will most likely be mid to mid ... we shall see!
As Always,
Brenda
... said NOONE ever! Well unless of course you are Dave Ramsey then you probably do! However, in a weird and twisted way it was kind of nice for my month to be wrapped up in a nice tidy bow ... now as long as I can keep it that way for the next 30 days it will be grand!
January 2017 Budget
Charity
Tithes
Charity & Offerings
Saving
Emergency Fund
Retirement Fund
Housing
$614.00 Rent
Utilities
$ 38.31 Electricity
$ 25.74 Gas
$ 23.37 Water
$ 12.00 Trash
$133.93 Phone
$ 75.23 Internet
$ 7.99 Cable
Food
$200.00 Groceries
$ 0.00 Restaurants
Clothing
$ 0.00 Adult
$ 0.00 Cleaning/Laundry
Transportation
$100.00 Gas & Oil
$ 0.00 Repairs & Tires
$ 0.00 License & Taxes
$ 0.00 Car Replacement
$ 10.00 Other (Car Wash)
Medical/Health
$ 0.00 Medications
$ 0.00 Doctor Bills
$ 0.00 Dentist
$ 0.00 Optometrist
$ 0.00 Vitamins
$ 0.00 Other __________
Insurance
$ 0.00 Rental Insurance
$100.10 Auto Insurance
Personal
$ 0.00 Gifts (Inc. Christmas)
$ 0.00 Replace Furniture
$ 0.00 Pocket Money
$ 10.00 Miscellaneous (Gym)
$ 20.00 Other (SmugMug 1)
$ 5.00 Other (SmugMug 2)
Recreation
$ 0.00 Entertainment
$ 0.00 Vacation
Debts
$376.04 Car Payment
$ 0.00 Credit Card - Capital One
$207.18 Credit Card - Chase
$ 0.00 FL #1
$ 0.00 FL #2
$ 0.00 FL #3
$ 0.00 FL #4
$ 0.00 FL #5
$ 0.00 FL #6
$ 0.00 FL #7
$ 0.00 FL #8
$ 0.00 FL #9
$ 0.00 FL #10
$ 0.00 FL #11
$ 0.00 TA #1
$ 0.00 TA #2
$ 0.00 TA #3
$ 0.00 TA #4
$ 0.00 CMS Main
$ 0.00 CMS Anestesia
$ 0.00 CMS Pathology
$ 0.00 SMCC
$ 0.00 TWC
$ 0.00 NorDx
$ 0.00 Craig Miller
I expect it to change slightly as my months will most likely be mid to mid ... we shall see!
As Always,
Brenda
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Specifics in Life ...
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page: 4
So yesterday I talked about goals, resolutions - whatever you (or I) want to call them. In previous years I've been VERY specific. I want to loose X amount of pounds and the number has been ridiculous ... This year it's very different. It's more like a general with some specialty involved.
FINANCIAL GOALS
• Bring overhead bills to current
• Savings account with $1,000 in it
• Work on debt snowball - pay down 10K by 12/31/2017
• Get credit score into fair range (650)
HEALTH GOALS
• Lost 40 pounds
• Be able to run one mile under 15 minutes
• Take a real yoga class
• Run a 5k start to finish
PERSONAL/EMOTIONAL/PROFESSIONAL GOALS
• Hike 12 trails at least 2 miles or longer in 2017
• Read 12 books for advancement
• Bring in 5K in income with BJP (Brenda Jane Photogrpahy)
• Shoot each month a little over everything (Racing/Portrait/Landscape/Animal) - go to new places to do it!
Seems like a lot but I think perfectly attainable. Where do you put YOUR list? Mine is on my white board -- right here next to my computer so I see it hopefully EVERY day!
"Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow."
As always,
Brenda
So yesterday I talked about goals, resolutions - whatever you (or I) want to call them. In previous years I've been VERY specific. I want to loose X amount of pounds and the number has been ridiculous ... This year it's very different. It's more like a general with some specialty involved.
FINANCIAL GOALS
• Bring overhead bills to current
• Savings account with $1,000 in it
• Work on debt snowball - pay down 10K by 12/31/2017
• Get credit score into fair range (650)
HEALTH GOALS
• Lost 40 pounds
• Be able to run one mile under 15 minutes
• Take a real yoga class
• Run a 5k start to finish
PERSONAL/EMOTIONAL/PROFESSIONAL GOALS
• Hike 12 trails at least 2 miles or longer in 2017
• Read 12 books for advancement
• Bring in 5K in income with BJP (Brenda Jane Photogrpahy)
• Shoot each month a little over everything (Racing/Portrait/Landscape/Animal) - go to new places to do it!
Seems like a lot but I think perfectly attainable. Where do you put YOUR list? Mine is on my white board -- right here next to my computer so I see it hopefully EVERY day!
"Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow."
As always,
Brenda
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
New year means new goals -- Freedom maybe?
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page: 3
I've decided this year I'm really going to put forth some MAJOR effort into making this a Financial Freedom year -- I have do. It's been too long since I could truly do the things I want without ANY regret or remorse. Over the next week I'm going to take a long hard look at my monthly overhead bills and my overhead hanging debt and really try to work hard and set a goal to move forward on that. You'll see updates probably monthly on my progress and with progress I mean downhill momentum right? :)
But I'm not talking just FINANCIAL freedom either... freedom comes in a lot of different aspects. WEIGHT freedom is going to be a big one. I'm not going to say I'm going to lose 100 pounds because a) it's crazy and b) well it's crazy. Can it be done? Yeah sure! Can I do it? Absolutely! Do I want to though? No...not really. So I won't. However, I do want to be STRONG. So over the next week I'm going to set some goals in regards to fitness. They won't necessarily be numbers on the scale but more what my body can do... and what I can do for it. As I plan on doing with my Financial Freedom Journey my Weight Freedom journey will have monthly updates on my progress. Progress perhaps of the scale and also in my quest to become strong and fit!
#FollowYourArrow
As Always,
Brenda
I've decided this year I'm really going to put forth some MAJOR effort into making this a Financial Freedom year -- I have do. It's been too long since I could truly do the things I want without ANY regret or remorse. Over the next week I'm going to take a long hard look at my monthly overhead bills and my overhead hanging debt and really try to work hard and set a goal to move forward on that. You'll see updates probably monthly on my progress and with progress I mean downhill momentum right? :)
But I'm not talking just FINANCIAL freedom either... freedom comes in a lot of different aspects. WEIGHT freedom is going to be a big one. I'm not going to say I'm going to lose 100 pounds because a) it's crazy and b) well it's crazy. Can it be done? Yeah sure! Can I do it? Absolutely! Do I want to though? No...not really. So I won't. However, I do want to be STRONG. So over the next week I'm going to set some goals in regards to fitness. They won't necessarily be numbers on the scale but more what my body can do... and what I can do for it. As I plan on doing with my Financial Freedom Journey my Weight Freedom journey will have monthly updates on my progress. Progress perhaps of the scale and also in my quest to become strong and fit!
Freedom is the Oxygen of the Soul. -Moshe Dayan
#FollowYourArrow
As Always,
Brenda
Monday, January 2, 2017
Emotions vs. Reactions
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page: 2
Emotions are raw. Real and honest emotions. The ones we don't see coming. That's why they are so great. They can be unexpected and also amazing. When someone makes a choice and you didn't expect it or choose it yourself, they hurt. Emotions are exposed. You need time to process. When someone says no or tells you they are never going to love you or be with you it's personal. There is no way around it. Even though they may do it in the best way they know how as to not hurt you because they do care about you in some way there is no way around it.
You get hurt.
You go through all the stages of grief. Did the person die - no but that doesn't mean that the stages are any different. You still lost something that was important to you and your everyday life. Sometimes it's grieving the time dedicated. Sometimes it's grieving the thoughts and ideas of the future that are now gone because of a decision someone else made that you didn't get to be a part of. Sometimes it's because by protecting themselves they have hurt you to the core. What you try to avoid. YOUR biggest fear. The fear of rejection. The fear of never being good enough no matter how hard you try or what you do.
Always be yourself. Never try to be anyone else. In the end no one wins and everyone leaves hurt, confused and unsure what the future holds.
Sometimes you realize you lost a piece of yourself you never realized you gave away.
Life is about building and rebuilding. You are ALWAYS doing one or the other. ALWAYS.
#KeepBuilding
#FollowYourArrow2017
Always,
-B
Emotions are raw. Real and honest emotions. The ones we don't see coming. That's why they are so great. They can be unexpected and also amazing. When someone makes a choice and you didn't expect it or choose it yourself, they hurt. Emotions are exposed. You need time to process. When someone says no or tells you they are never going to love you or be with you it's personal. There is no way around it. Even though they may do it in the best way they know how as to not hurt you because they do care about you in some way there is no way around it.
You get hurt.
You go through all the stages of grief. Did the person die - no but that doesn't mean that the stages are any different. You still lost something that was important to you and your everyday life. Sometimes it's grieving the time dedicated. Sometimes it's grieving the thoughts and ideas of the future that are now gone because of a decision someone else made that you didn't get to be a part of. Sometimes it's because by protecting themselves they have hurt you to the core. What you try to avoid. YOUR biggest fear. The fear of rejection. The fear of never being good enough no matter how hard you try or what you do.
Always be yourself. Never try to be anyone else. In the end no one wins and everyone leaves hurt, confused and unsure what the future holds.
Sometimes you realize you lost a piece of yourself you never realized you gave away.
Life is about building and rebuilding. You are ALWAYS doing one or the other. ALWAYS.
#KeepBuilding
#FollowYourArrow2017
Always,
-B
Sunday, January 1, 2017
The most blank page you'll have in 365 days....
Book: 2017 | Chapter: 1 | Page 1
Here we sit. January 1st, 2017. I've always had a thing about odd years -- I always feel like they are 'bad' years but in reality I was born in an odd year so that should make them automatically great -- and 2016 showed me it wasn't the "best" year ... so here is to look at 2017 (The ODD year) as hopefully one of the better ones!
I love love. It's a simple concept and one that I believe is one of, if not the only, true thing in life. Love is always there. In some form, some facet or some way. Love can repair even the deepest breaks of a heart. Sometimes it takes time. A LOT of time. Other times it doesn't heal back up completely. But love exists in the form of people, animals, strangers, routines, possessions, pictures and memories. If it comes down to the choice between loving and not loving, regardless of the reason, I will 99.99% of the time choose love.
Love ALWAYS wins.
Remember that next time you are doing something that is selfish to you. Something you're doing to protect yourself. Ask yourself are you really loving yourself or destroying others? Sometimes there is no choice other then for them to be one in the same. But if possible, for me, make sure to make it so love wins all around. Even in the dark times. The times you think no one is there, that no one hears you and most of all that no one sees you.
Someone does.
Even if only the person staring back at you from the mirror.
Start by loving that person again. Show that person that love wins. In reality, love only needs one person to exist. Love can over come darkness and evil. You just have to believe in the existence and the purpose.
Wake up each morning and look in the mirror and repeat "I love love and I love you" and let the rest of the day sort it self out. You will never go wrong if you start the day by telling yourself that you love you --- even if it's the only time you hear it that day --- even if you don't believe it.
Especially then.
Hear it. Feel it. Live it.
#FollowYourArrow2017
As Always,
-B
Here we sit. January 1st, 2017. I've always had a thing about odd years -- I always feel like they are 'bad' years but in reality I was born in an odd year so that should make them automatically great -- and 2016 showed me it wasn't the "best" year ... so here is to look at 2017 (The ODD year) as hopefully one of the better ones!
I love love. It's a simple concept and one that I believe is one of, if not the only, true thing in life. Love is always there. In some form, some facet or some way. Love can repair even the deepest breaks of a heart. Sometimes it takes time. A LOT of time. Other times it doesn't heal back up completely. But love exists in the form of people, animals, strangers, routines, possessions, pictures and memories. If it comes down to the choice between loving and not loving, regardless of the reason, I will 99.99% of the time choose love.
Love ALWAYS wins.
Remember that next time you are doing something that is selfish to you. Something you're doing to protect yourself. Ask yourself are you really loving yourself or destroying others? Sometimes there is no choice other then for them to be one in the same. But if possible, for me, make sure to make it so love wins all around. Even in the dark times. The times you think no one is there, that no one hears you and most of all that no one sees you.
Someone does.
Even if only the person staring back at you from the mirror.
Start by loving that person again. Show that person that love wins. In reality, love only needs one person to exist. Love can over come darkness and evil. You just have to believe in the existence and the purpose.
Wake up each morning and look in the mirror and repeat "I love love and I love you" and let the rest of the day sort it self out. You will never go wrong if you start the day by telling yourself that you love you --- even if it's the only time you hear it that day --- even if you don't believe it.
Especially then.
Hear it. Feel it. Live it.
#FollowYourArrow2017
As Always,
-B
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